11.18.09 You Can’t Judge a Wine by its Label… Or Can You??

1 02 2010

In this edition of the Young Winos we judged a series of wine based not only on their taste, but on their labels too.

The instructions for this event were to pick a wine to bring based solely on its label.


1. Rene Barbier Mediterranean Brut Cava

Label: Alea brought this beauty and chose the label because she would rather be at the beach, she loved the imagery. Colin added that it reminded him of an impressionist painting.

Nose: Kelly thought it smelle like a fresh bright day. Katie got canned green beans and Eric F thought it was a bit meaty on the nose. Adam said it smelled sweet.

Palate:  Adam said this sparkling wine felt crisp when it hits your lips with a smooth finish. Colin thought it was tart at the end and Alea said it was a little buttery Katie tasted some citrus, specfically tangerine. Eric got some salt water and Kelly got some citrus and green apple.

Average Rating: 6.5/10     Price: $6

2. Bitch 2008 Grenache, South Australia

Label: Eric brought this wine while saying “It’s my bitch”. He elaborated on the label emphasizing that it really speaks to the personality of the people he was giving it to. Tim added that the back copy was clever, and Colin said it was gimmicky. Adam noted that it was vulgar, yet elegant.

Nose: Michael got cherry on the nose and Kelly got strawberry jam. Colin smelled some leather  while Eric got TCA (like a swimming pool and a wet horse). Nikki thought Eric said wet whores and agreed, Colin just thought wet whores was redundant. Nikki also got cherry dove bars.

Palate: Colin tasted cherry cough syrup and Kelly said that it goes down like a bitch, it’s a bad bitch. Alea thought it tasted like leather, or like liking her purse and said it was a lingering bitch. Chris thought it was so bad that it gave him an STD.  Katie got raspberry pepperidge farm cookies. Chris said it was the only wine he didn’t want to finish.  Then we poured some out the window.

Average rating: 2/10    Price: $10

3. Spicerack Sonoma Coast Punchdown Syrah 2007

Label:Katie picked out this wine because she liked the font of the title and the quaint, old time feel. She thought the design was elegant yet simplistic and was a good use of space.

Nose: Colin got pepper on the nose while Chris got brown sugar. Nikki got molasses and Katie smelled dates and licorice. Kelly picked up on some plum and Alea got beef jerky.

Palate: Michael noted that the palate was surprisingly smooth and Tim thought it was more mild than he expected. Nikki got some BBQ flavors and Alea got beef jerky again. Chris tasted some vanilla extract on the finish and everyone thought it was aptly named with lots of “spice” flavor.

Average rating: 7.5/10   Price: $20

Lucky 7

4. Navarra Red Wine 7 Siete Garnacha 2008

Label: Nikki chose this lovely label because she liked the simple black and white design. She liked the print of the writing on the label and also 7 is her lucky number which the domino displayed.

Nose: Michael smelled some cherry, soap, and vinegar on the nose. Colin got Grandma’s basement and Nikki and Colin agreed it was reminsent of a barrel room in a winery. Kelly smelled some cherry pie filling and jolly ranchers. Katie got some synthetic carpet and Nikkie also smelled a gingerbread man, but a plain gingerbread man without any specific character but with blue eyes.

Palate: Jessalyn tasted some cherry vinegar and Alea thought it had hot tannins. Nikki said it was a bit metallic and sour and Katie thought it was very one dimensional. Adam got vinegar on the palate too.

Average rating: 6/10  Price: $12

5. Ex Umbris 2007 Syrah Columbia Valley

Label: Tim chose this little beauty due to its minimalistic quality, unqiue shaped label. He liked that it didn’t have any foil on the top but instead was wax.

Nose: Michael smelled some raspberry and boysenberry Rhubarb, Colin thought it was a bit smokey and Kelly got some bacon action. Eric noted it smelled peppery and Alea thought it was smelled hot. Nikki picked up on baking spice and Adam also got some berries. Kelly seconded the berries with “hellaberry”/ Halle Berry.

Palate: Eric noted right away that this wine tasted very spicy. Alea got specific with cayenne pepper and dark chocolate. Michael picked up on some tannins like crazy. Colin called out vanilla and blueberry and Alea said the finish was meaty.

Average rating: 7.5  Price: $25

Buff Beauty

6. Cycle Buff Beauty 2008 South Australia (80% Malbec 20% Shiraz)

Label: Kelly picked this label because simply: “It was the sexiest label I could find”

Nose: Alea smelled some melon and orange zest. Colin thought molasses while Michael got pleasant blackberry syrup. Nikki got a raspberry jolly rancher and Jessalyn smelled Enteman’s raspberry danish. Katie got berry reduction sauce.

Palate: Nikki thought the palate was very smooth and tart. Kelly said it was a delectable fruit bomb and it’s really viscous (Katie chimed in with “that’s what she said”). Colin got some serious peach while Jessalyn tasted a tart nectarine. Katie thought it would be perfect for sangria, just a little sour. Michael described it was 3 quick layers: tart, smooth, spicy and then gone. David thought it was more like titties flapping in his face and he didn’t even enjoy it.

Average rating: 38DD  Price: $25.50

The Real Buff Beauties

The Real Buff Beauties 2

7. Wrong Dongo, Spain, Mourvedre (Monastrell) 2008

Label: Penguin (Andrea) chose this label for it’s hilarious name and also it’s shiny, modern art look.

Nose: Russ smelled a cranberry scone and Dave got backing soda and lemon. Nikki picked up on some Fernet, soap, and orange. Colin thought it smelled like stinky cheese, musty, honey, Jager, and toothpaste (gross!). Alea got terraki and melon and Katie thought it was like an orange candle, lit to cover up rotten trash.

Palate: Colin thought the mouthfeel was rather oily and Adam also got a slimy texture. Katie thought it was a bit stringent and David said something was burning inside it.

Average rating: 4/10  Price: $10

8. The Spanish Quarter, Cabernet Sauvignon, Tempranillo, Spain 2008.

Label: Dave chose this label because it looked like a Spanish fresco and was cute. He thought the Spain section was the prettiest.

Nose: Katie thought it smelled like make-up sex, while Tim got something more like olives. Nikki smelled some natural black licorice and Jessalyn said below decks on a ship that has been at sea for too long. Kelly noted some herbal and cabernet “cabby”. Alea smelled a one night stand in Barbardos. Russ got moldy jam. Some crazy person named Wanda showed up and said it smelled like a spanish cock covered in port thanks to a BJ. Colin just smelled rubber cement.

Palate: Alea tasted licorice and Michael noted an absence of tannins. Jessalyn tasted a pirate who smells like a ship and tastes like Jager. Dave said it makes him say “yaarrrrr”. Nikki got berry and Kelly got super Rioja.

Average rating: 4.5/10  Price: $11

9. Earth, Zin, and Fire. Lodi, Zinfandel, 2006 (Jesse’s Grove Winery)

Label: Meghan chose this label because it was cute, corny, and gaudy. She liked the concert ticket and the overall cheesy theme.

Nose: Alea smelled yeast infection (as her professional opinion). Dave smelled a butt zit and Michael refocused our attention saying that is was pungent like bitter chocolate. Alea said 72% dark choco funkberry (not sure what the other 28% was?).

Palate: Jessalyn tasted some funk and cocoa powder while Colin thought it was sweet. Meghan tasted the fire and Russ just said it wasn’t a very good Cali zin. Alea also got funkberry and Kelly tasted alcohol and said it was surprisingly intolerable.

Average rating: 5/10  Price: $12

10. Mantra, Cabernet Sauvignon, Alexander Valley 2005

Label: Adam chose this wine because he had it on a cruise through San Francisco, Winemaker was at Costco and it represents life and harmony (does this not make sense to anyone else?).

Nose: Michael thought it smelled smokey, like dark cherry and blackberry. Nikki said it smelled like hella dill, parsely and chocolate. Kelly got dark berry and blackberry. Eric got big time fennel and Colin smelled cut grass and hay.

Palate: Michael tasted the fennel and Alea got pepper x5. Adam tasted bold and spicy and Russ got Coke. Colin tasted chocolate.

Average rating: 6.5/10  Price: $15/35

11. Hey Mambo, California Red 2007 – The Other Guys

Label: Michael thought it reminded him of an old stamp and liked the nostalgic feel of the label, Mambo is a dance.

Nose: Michael smelled blackberry and Alea thought it was cleaner plum. Dave got tabacco and Kelly thought it was meaty, shift slabot meat drizzled with cream reduction. Nikki smelled a balloon.

Palate: Kelly got marzipan and strawberry, Alea tasted butter cream.

Average rating: Heart/10  Price: $12

12.Fat Cat, Merlot California, 2006 Fat Cat Cellars

Label: Chris chose this label because it has a fucking cat with sunglasses. Kelly chimed in that he picked it because he loves pussy (facetiously).

Nose: Dave smelled burning blackberries, Alea smelled some bacon and Russ said it was more like Turkey bacon.

Palate: Colin thought the flavor was smooth, balanced, and sweet.  Alea tasted dark cherry and rhubarn.

Average rating: 6/10  Price: $10

Jessalyn demonstrates the sassiness of the wine

Pour that bitch




One response

10 04 2010
02.24.2010 Getting Saucy with Aussies « the young winos of san francisco

[…] that all the wines from this company have boobs on the label (we had another of their wines on our label night; see “Cycle Buff Beauty”, which was rated a 38DD.) Back to the nose: Alea smelled […]

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